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Rick Dack
 You're here » Christian Columns Index » Guest Writer

Christ Dyed Eggs For Your Sins
by Rick Dack
March 24, 2010
Category: Christian Living
OFFENDED YET? IF not, why not? This phrase appeared on a Church marquee in an episode of the animated series The Simpson's mocking Christ's sacrifice on the cross. I believe entertainment has taken a back seat to anti-faith bitterness and sexual absurdity disguised as comedic satire, also neutral academic opinion about the Bibles historical credibility has been replaced with a "guilty until proven innocent" slant on television documentaries. Hollywood vs. The Bible International, the ministry I began in 1997, conducts multimedia presentations at Churches, Schools and Conferences created to help teens and adults defend their faith with scriptural science ( Today's pop culture Bible skeptics (comedians, animators, musicians and liberal academics) believe it necessary to sexualize bible figures, mock bible events and impose atheistic academics on an uninformed public. On March 13, 2010 Who Framed Jesus will be broadcast on the Discovery Channel, in other words, prepare for bizarre/controversial theories by noted scholars. Indoctrinating the uninformed and smearing Easter / Bible events is undeniably the goal of the enemy 365 days a year. Whether entertainers and academics realize it or not they are being used and will eventually be thrown away once they've exceeded their usefulness.

Seth MacFarlane's Family Guy & American Dad (FOX)
Created by actor/comedian Seth MacFarlane, Family Guy does not breed the often used progressive word tolerance but demonstrates true contempt for the Bible via the youngest member of the Griffins, the British speaking Stewie. Little Stewie believes that Christian martyrdom is a good thing and that Jesus faked miracles. CIA agent Stan Smith (American Dad) upon meeting the Homosexual Log Cabin Republican's at an RNC convention endured the song "We're Red and We're Gay." Included within this musical segment is Jesus on the cross, two gay men bowing before him on their knees accompanied by the lyrics "Jeff and Paul like hot pectorals (Jesus') and good old-fashioned Christian morals..."

Moral Orel, the new era of Claymation (Adult Swim/Cartoon Network)
Remember the Claymation series Davey and Goliath? This popular series about a boy and his dog was developed by Art Clokey and sponsored by the Lutheran Church. Moral Orel, created by Dino Stamatopolous, is more the devils advocate rather Gods spokesman. Orel lives in Moralton, Statesota USA where the entire town population is presumably moral yet it's comprised of drunks, self-righteous protestors, bitter clergy and gay experimentation. In the episode entitled School Pageant Orel auditions for the role of Jesus in a musical but gets the part of Judas instead, Orel's song, the only hit in the production becomes popular, soon the entire community of Moralton sing the lyrics made famous by Orel: "I hate you Jesus, You rotten little fink, Your sermon never pleases, And your parables all stink, Your eyes are beady, Nose is weird, A goofy basket case, I'd like to take your stupid beard, And rip it off your face, Prancing gaily (Jesus was gay?) on the water, A long-haired scrawny clod, You may be someone's daughter (Jesus was Transgender?) but You sure ain't the son of God..." Ironically, musician Elton John came out recently stating that he believed Jesus was a "super-intelligent gay man" for an upcoming issue of Parade Magazine. There is no evidence whatsoever from "any" source to support Elton Johns beliefs.

South Park and Lil Bush (Comedy Central)
Matt Stone and Trey Parkers series South Park, on the air since 1997, consists of four foul-mouthed kids, their parents, classmates and townspeople who all live in South Park, Colorado. Jesus also lives in South Park, owns a home and has a local cable program called Jesus and Pals. In episodes throughout the series Jesus has been beaten up by Satan, killed by terrorists or a child, considered sexy on the cross, threatened with crucifixion and faked miracles. Oral sex with Jesus was also introduced in a commercial promotion in the episode Christian Rock Hard.

The now defunct Lil' Bush, created by Donick Cary, chronicled the lives of the young George W. Bush his foes, family and friends. In the episodes called Evolution Lil' Dick Cheney dies and Lil' Bush is left to mourn. One Sunday, as Lil' Bush sat at the breakfast table, Barbara Bush brought in pancakes with butter on them in the form of little crosses. Lil' Bush commented, "...and the syrup can be the delicious blood of Christ." In a throwback to a Saturday morning 1970's cartoon Lil' Bush and friends sing a song to wrap up the Evolution episode. The song contained the lyrics, "Let's all thank him (Judas) for causing his (Jesus') execution."

Animation Alternatives
If you enjoy a combination of classic Disney animation blended with "new" have you considered buying DVD's from Nest Family Entertainment? Nest was created by former Disney animator Richard Rich. Sets include Animated Stories from the Bible, Animated Hero Classics, The Swan Princess and others. Other faith based and family-friendly secular programs include Life with Louie; The Tick; Adventures in Odyssey; Cherub Wings; Easter Promise; Rocko's Modern Life; 3-2-1 Penguins; Jesus, The Miracle Maker and Hermie starring Tim Conway, Don Knotts, Melissa Disney and Victoria Jackson formerly of Saturday Night Live.

That's Not All Folks
Okay, some out there aren't big fans of cartoons or claymation so let's look at Easter and the Bible documentary. Surely The History Channel, The Discovery Channel and the non-cable Networks are fair when it comes to reporting the facts surrounding Easter, right?

The History Channel and PBS Re-Write Easter
The following are views expressed by interviewees on The History Channel, PBS etc;. Jesus and Judas conspired to kill Jesus; Jesus was arrested by Temple Police in Jerusalem; Barabbas never existed; Jesus was placed in the wrong tomb and there was no Resurrection.

A&E, ABC and The Discovery Channel Re-Write Easter
The following are views expressed by interviewees on Bible Documentaries broadcast by A&E, ABC etc;. Jesus was a bully looking for trouble in Jerusalem; Jesus thought he was to die at Gethsemane; Jesus was not buried but probably eaten by wild animals; Jesus did not resurrect but was seen by mourners in visions caused by grief; The Resurrection is groundless, crazy, silly (irrational); Jesus did not die on the cross but was given a sedative (Mandrake plant) to make him appear dead then awakened from the tomb by his followers and lived to proclaim himself resurrected.

Defending Easter from TV Bible Skeptics
There is no indication within scripture / archaeology that Jesus' intent was to be a bully within the Temple grounds nor was he arrested by Temple Police. Jesus' intent was to expose money changers and sidewalk merchants taking advantage (financial and otherwise) of worshippers within the Temple (Maier, Paul L. In the Fullness of Time, New York: Harper Collins, 1991). Jesus' words reminded the community of the true purpose of the temple not a means for Jesus' immediate arrest.

Betrayal and Bones?
The idea that Jesus and Judas had a pact is pure fantasy unless you're a fan of the Gnostic "Gospel of Judas." In this fake gospel Judas tells Jesus that he will betray him to the authorities in order to get him into the spiritual realm. The Gospel of Judas is not from the time of Jesus, the first century, but dates later to the fourth century (Witherington III, Ben. What Have They Done With Jesus. New York: 2006). Was Jesus tried before a court? Jesus was brought before Caiaphas but the experience was weak at best (Matt. 26, Mark 14...). Did Jesus think he would be tried, convicted and crucified all in the same night at? ABC Interviewee Father Jerome Murphy O'Connor believes this might be true but it's false. Jesus undoubtedly knew he would be raised up or crucified (John 12:32) and none of his bones would be broken (Num. 9:12, Psalm 34:20). It was customary for Romans to break the leg bones of crucified victims in order to accelerate death. Jerome Murphy O'Connor also stated in a PBS special that Jesus was buried in the nearest tomb not a nearby tomb (John 19:42) and there is a difference. If Jesus was buried in the nearest tomb perhaps it wasn't Joseph of Arimathea's thus the women went to the wrong tomb and Jesus' corpse was still in Joseph's tomb waiting to decompose. Why would O'Connor give more ammunition to the Bible Skeptics? I wish I could answer that question.

Less than 1%
Was there a man named Barabbas? There is no reason to doubt the existence of a Barabbas. Has archaeology uncovered the name Barabbas? Not to my knowledge but that does not mean he was not a historical figure who won his life against Jesus. Evidence could be uncovered soon such as the story of the late R.P. Dougherty. Dr. Dougherty, a strong advocate for the elimination of portions of the book of Daniel, namely the parts concerning the name Belshazzar due to its absence on archaeological documents, toured extensively throughout the early 1900's in support of his conclusion. In 1924, a document was uncovered that contained the names Belshazzar and his father Nabonidas whom Dougherty denied as historical persons. There is no reason to deny the existence of biblical figures or events unless you've exhausted every archaeological location, less than 1% of the Holy Land has been excavated.

Animals and Victims
Was the body of Jesus eaten by wild animals on the cross? It is true that some, not all, victims of crucifixion were left on the crosses, consumed by animals and the remains strewn. There is no indication that Jesus was left on the cross from "any" reliable historical source nor was a young man named Yohanan. In 1968 a crucified right heel bone was found at a location in a Jerusalem suburb called Giv'at Hamivtar. Attached to the heel were wood fragments and a nail, in addition to the right heel bone the victims right arm bone and left heel bone, also penetrated by a nail, was uncovered. The crucified victims name was Yohanan ben Ha'galgol and he was buried in an ossuary (bone box) that contained his name (Maier, Paul L. In the Fullness of Time, New York: Harper Collins, 1991).

Drugs and Resurrection
Was there a conspiracy between the Romans and the followers of Jesus to drug him, as if he were dead, and then revive him later? This is the only conclusion that one must make if you believe that Jesus was drugged with the Mandrake plant by a Roman soldier (Luke 23:35 and John 19:29,30). In the Old Testament (Genesis 30:14-17) Mandrake was used in an unrelated form to crucifixion. During the Roman Empire, 1st and 2nd Century C.E., Mandrake was used by the Greek Physician Discorides on Roman troops during the time of Nero ( and was supposedly related to demon activity in that the mandrake apparently shrieked when pulled from the ground, the plant was also used as an anesthetic in the Middle Ages and Elizabethan period ( The plant was also considered toxic and expensive ( If Mandrake was toxic how did the Romans/disciples know how much to dispense to keep Jesus alive yet appear dead? Does Mandrake instantly heal roman spear thrusts through the side like what happened to Jesus? Not likely. There is no archaeological evidence to support the idea that Mandrake was given to Jesus of Nazareth.

Now that I've dispensed with plant life what do we know of potential evidences in support of the Resurrection? Dr. Clyde Billington Jr. of Northwestern College argues that within 10-12 years of Jesus' resurrection the Emperor Claudius installed an inscription likely related to the biblical account. What is the Nazareth Inscription? Billington writes, "The Nazareth Inscription is a Greek inscription on a marble tablet measuring approximately 24 inches by 15 inches." The artifact, currently in the Bibliotheque Nationale in Paris, came to public attention in 1878 after it was discovered near Nazareth, Israel. The artifact can be dated to the year 41 A.D. (C.E.) early in Claudius' career, the inscription warns grave robbers of the consequences of theft and forbids the removal of sepulcher stones. Dr. Billington believes it may point to events recounted in Matthew 27:52, 53. The artifact is clearly addressed to the Jewish not Roman population and has connections to Herod Antipas, Herod Agrippa I and their relationship to the Emperor Claudius. Read the entire article at under About Us.

Are there reasons to fear Bible Skeptics? Not if you're prepared to defend yourself with good archaeological evidence and have a solid understanding of scripture. Do I believe that TV programs and movies should be censored, boycotted or eliminated? No! The devil will only find more deceptive/clever means to convey the same information, it is far better to observe his schemes openly and deal with them and that is why Hollywood vs. The Bible International was developed. Churches, Schools and Conference attendees need the information that only this unique ministry can provide using the latest in multimedia tools in its presentations, for more information about this ministry visit, or call Rick Dack, Founder and Director, at 952-933-1979.

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